Loss
by Asuka Sakura26
Summary: Chiaki Shinichi had finally lost it. Who knew this day would come? -On hiatus. Maybe discontinued. Need to reread the manga or rewatch the Nodame Cantabile anime for inspiration.-
1. The reason

N/A: I'm no expert on music. Or love. This fic also went through a lot of versions (one was absolutely depressing). But what the heck. Here goes...this version. OOC I know but for a good reason.

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LOSS

Chiaki Shinichi had finally lost it.

No...He still had all his unruly (and sometimes styled with gel only on special occasions) hair. He was way too young to be going bald right now.

Yep. Not a single strand of white hair yet.

He didn't lose his material possessions either. He didn't lose his fortune or his fame.

He didn't sleep on the sidewalk. There was no way he would live on the streets or under a bridge. Chiaki and dirt don't mix. His apartment was always squeaky clean. He even cleaned for another person so many times that he lost count. He called it charity work before. Then he became too embarrassed to admit the real reason why. Too embarrassed to say it out loud.

He didn't fight for scraps of food found in trash bins everyday. He didn't mingle or fight for space with people covered in grease and dirt. He, Shinichi Chiaki would not for the life of him...smell horrible, look pitiful and...and beg. Ever.

Though it reminded him of a girl who lived in her trash, didn't take bath for days, and constantly begged for food and his affection. He caved in eventually. He cleaned her room before he even knew her personally, washed her hair once, cooked every night for her and realized that he couldn't live without her.

He could ask help from his mother if he needed money but his pride wouldn't let him. No. He was no Mama's boy. Like hell was he gonna ask help from his father either! He of all people had the common sense to work in case a situation should arise.

The great Chiaki from conductor to delivery boy...he couldn't suppress a shudder.

What was he thinking? Of course he can get a job better than that. He could...maybe...no that's insane...well...maybe...no that's...fine. Hmm...maybe he could try..modeling? Modeling seems...uh...appropriate. He's...handsome isn't he?

Yes he was famous. In fact he was still in the papers. Many articles were written about his career and personal life. The latter however was much to his annoyance. They should just leave his personal life alone. His handsome face graced the cover of many magazines. He had numerous TV appearances.

Ah...all the other interviews he turned down. All those reporters he had to run from...

Can't a guy buy underwear in peace?

He saw an article the next day about his undergarments of choice. He angrily rolled the newspaper while muttering "stupid paparazzi" under his breath. He threw it without looking and it hit her directly in the face. She fell with a loud "Gyabo!". He helped her get up from the floor after a few seconds of shock. When did she get in his apartment?

No more loud knocks on the door then hugging him to death (along with a loud Senpai!) when he answered it. Next thing he finds her in his apartment, her things all over the place and as usual she acts like his "wife".

He just sighs and resumes cooking. Chiaki found out minutes later that she actually kept the newspaper clipping from this morning.

Hentai.

He chuckled at the memory.

Well his sanity was still intact. In a sense however, he could tell that a fraction of it was slowly crumbling...diminishing. No he didn't want to think about it. Not now.

But still he could see it...with eyes that twitched nonstop. He would be screaming at the top of his lungs as he fell into the dark abyss. While at the same time on the surface, he would be rolling on the floor laughing. He would be wearing a strait jacket. An obvious sign that he had lost all of his sanity.

Chiaki shook his head.

It was late and he still couldn't get some needed shuteye. His mind wouldn't let him sleep no matter how much weary he felt.

"Hic!"

It must be the alcohol he consumed. He must have been so drunk to think about such things. Come to think of it, the room swirled a bit. He wondered how things got so far in his head. How could he forget about the huge headache/hangover that would come in the morning. He shrugged. Too late to go back on his actions.

Back to what he really lost...

Well he just...he had finally lost interest in music.

Music had been his life. His passion. He was a musical prodigy. A genius conductor. He was the great Chiaki Shinichi. But all those years of hard work was set aside. Forgotten like the wind. Thrown away like Nodame's burnt and poisonous looking home cooking.

There were more important things. More important things aside from music.

He figured it's been months since he last touched a symphony score. Months since he held an instrument in his hands. The baton was still in its case after all this time and the piano was now very dusty.

It's been months since he heard any music at all. Not even a single CD. Before it used to soothe him, now he didn't want to lift it up from the cd rack.

It's been months since they had that dreadful accident.

The accident where Nodame Chiaki (yes they got married years later after becoming the Golden Pair) lost all of her memories. She forgot about the past...her childhood,student life at the academy and the conservatoire in Paris, her otaku and hentai tendencies, the way she played the piano and...him.

They were on the way home from a successful concert. They had a car crash and barely escaped with their lives. Chiaki was bandaged all over. He had lost a lot of blood,had bruises and broken bones. Nodame however, was in a coma. She lost a lot of blood too and was bandaged in some places. No broken bones though but she hit her head pretty hard.

News about the incident quickly spread like wildfire.

They had a lot of visitors. Both Chiaki's mentors Sebastian Vierra and Franz Stresemann came. His and Nodame's relatives also arrived along with their friends from Japan and Paris: Mine,Kiyora,Masumi,Kuroki,Tanya,Frank,Yun Long,Rui,Luca and many others. Even Elise and his father, Chiaki Masayuki came to see them.

Chiaki was very grateful for their support. If it weren't for his mother who was always at his side and for all of their friends, he'd already crumble into pieces and wished that he would die.

As for his father,it was very awkward. It was because he still hated him but he was surprised nonetheless.

Weeks passed by and Shinichi eventually recovered physically. Nodame didn't wake however. He was officially discharged from the hospital but he never left it much except only to get essential things like clothes and food. Shinichi sat by her side day and night (his mother had to go back abroad for business and their friends had their own separate lives). He talked to her endlessly. Sometimes he yelled at her and shook her arms to wake her up but to no avail. He would then apologize immediately.

Sometimes he was very quiet. Sometimes he would cry. He would hold her hand while he did and eventually would fall asleep.

There was a day that some of their friends (namely Tanya and Kuroki) had to drag out him of the room so he can eat and bathe (he was helped by only Kuroki in that matter). Chiaki looked like in a trance and they couldn't talk to him at all. His hair was a mess and he smelled bad. He was also thin and pale and looked like he didn't eat for days.

Tanya saw him flinch as she reprimanded ironically the once perfect Chiaki on his behavior (though it was reasonable why he acted like such). She reminded him that Nodame would be worried if she saw him like this. Chiaki knew the first thing that Nodame would say when she wakes up: "You look like hell senpai".

Nodame woke up 2 months later. Chiaki hugged her like there was no tomorrow. She however had no recollection of past events and stared at her husband with wide eyes. First there was disbelief then Chiaki felt like the world was crashing down on him.

He was eternally grateful that she finally woke up but he didn't expect this at all. She forgot about everything...including him.

Chiaki told her everything that there was to tell. She was speechless. It was weird after a few hours because she had a different personality. She wasn't the hentai/otaku/weirdo he knew anymore.

He had to be strong. He said a thousand times to himself like a mantra that eventually she'll remember. Eventually she'll remember him. They'll do a lot of things together. He'll let her glomp him even in public and sniff him as long as she liked. He'll cook her favorite meals a thousand times and watch endless marathons of Puri Gurota with her. Probably have lots of children...

He snapped out of his reverie to see her giggle and waving her hand in front of his face. He was told he suddenly spaced out. He asked "How long have I been staring?". She replied without looking at him, in a voice that was barely a whisper but he heard it anyway "Not much. Only just for an eternity". He smiled at her because she was his wife and he loved her no matter what.

With a heavy heart he heard the doctor's final diagnosis of her condition: There was a huge possibility that Nodame will not remember anything about the past...ever.

He didn't and wouldn't believe a word of it. He Chiaki Shinichi would never give up.

Weeks later she was discharged from the hospital.

They just got home from the hospital after spending 6 months there. The house felt lonely. Foreign.

It was weird having Nodame so quiet. Shy. Dare he say it...absolutely and perfectly normal. Her hair always tied up in a neat ponytail now.

He cooked for two like he did in the past but there was silence during the meal. It was unbearable. She praised him for his culinary skills but he missed the noise. The silly noises...the haun,gyabo or mukya she used to make and the endless pit of a stomach she had when she devoured her food very fast. Now she ate slowly...very ladylike. She noticed he was staring at her. Chiaki hastily took a bite and looked away, flushing.

He insisted on sleeping on the sofa for the night. He decided that it was going to be awkward for her if they slept together in one bed. She shook her head and told him it was all right since they were married. He smiled at how cute she looked when she was blushing while she said that. He told her he would be just fine on the sofa. He convinced himself that he could handle it but did not deny missing her. It will be just for tonight or two. Longer than that however he couldn't tell.

She then proposed to use pillows as barrier between them. He almost gave in but insisted that he'll be fine on the sofa. Albeit reluctant, she obliged and wished him good night. She went out after a few minutes to give him a pillow and a blanket then asked him again. He smiled (noticing her blushing as a red tomato yet again) then thanked her for the pillow and blanket but again refused the offer.

He watched her as she left and went inside the bedroom. He couldn't sleep. His mind wouldn't let him. He tried cleaning the house instead. He had to be subtle to make sure he didn't wake Nodame. After an hour the house was spotless clean.

He resorted to drinking wine instead. After consuming the whole bottle, he went back to the sofa (more like walked sluggishly) and stared once again at the ceiling.

He hugged his pillow tighter. He glared at the lizard on the ceiling and watched it as it moved. It better not fall on his face or anywhere on him. Or his mouth. He closed his mouth shut just to be sure. Cobwebs were on the ceiling as well. The neat freak in him had the urge to remove it but his body didn't budge from its position. It will have to wait for tomorrow.

There was one thing he will never lose though. Even with all the ups and downs, he will never lose his love for Nodame.

He'll cancel all of his plans for the week. His mind was set on resigning as conductor for the Roux Marlet orchestra. He just lost interest in music. Music now to him was like a bitter taste in the mouth...a distant memory. Like his wife, he wanted people to enjoy his music but now he was in no condition to do so. He didn't want to conduct just for the sake of having a job either.

He decided that he'll spend his whole undivided attention on his wife the whole week. No he would do it forever. Ironically she requested piano lessons from him during his spare time. After learning that she was a famous pianist, she told him that she wanted to relearn the piano. Now he would have lots of time thanks to his plan. He would think about things thoroughly once he's sober.

He pressed his forehead outside her...no...their bedroom door. Oh...how he missed her right now. He was tempted to take a peek at his sleeping wife but stopped himself. He could wake her up. Or he might (despite his initial resolve to stay on the sofa) decide to crawl on the bed, hug her from behind and stay there. Either way will surprise her and he didn't want to think of any violent reactions but still...

He stayed outside. He smiled as his eyelids felt now very heavy. Then he finally fell asleep right there.

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	2. The hangover

A/N: It's been so long right guys? Sorry for the looong delay.I've been really really busy. Here's chapter 2! I'll write Chapter 3 in Nodame's POV so Chiaki again this time. I just edited this recently. Hmm…I wonder if this is so cliché. I'll work on it and get to the good part okay? Nodame's OOC because of her condition while Chiaki is I think changed because of the things that happened (marriage and stuff like the accident). It just wouldn't be right to keep Chiaki so mysterious and in denial like in the anime when he's at this point. I wonder how this story would've turned out if it was premarriage Nodame and Chiaki. Oh well.

I have never been intoxicated ever (because I don't drink) so I could only get info about it on the internet and make assumptions from there. If I wrote something wrong, please let me know. Anyway enjoy!

Loss Chapter 2

Hangover

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Chiaki didn't know he had unshed tears in his eyes as he slept. He felt really heavy inside. His Nodame was slipping away…she may never remember him and…

He groaned at some racket happening somewhere and pulled the sheets over his head. _Why is it so damn noisy? _He tossed and turned trying to block it out. _Stop! Please stop that infernal racket…_Try as he may he couldn't go back to sleep. He couldn't make it out exactly but it was definitely noise. _Are there chimpanzees out there? _He may have decided to totally quit music but in his head he saw dancing elephants and an orchestra that's consisted of wild monkeys. With cymbals and bananas. The equipment used was courtesy of Rock Band and Guitar Hero.

A loud bang followed.

That almost broke his eardrums but he couldn't care less if someone blew up his kitchen. He deserved some shuteye and-

Wait just a sec…

He swore he fell asleep outside the bedroom last night! But why was he inside the room and…on the bed?

"Noda…me?" The unshed tears finally fell and he rubbed his eyes. _Too bright…_

_Where is she? Maybe she went out? What the hell…she can't just…W-why is the room spinning? _Chiaki snapped his eyes shut but that didn't help at all. The noise ceased but he absolutely felt sick to his stomach. He held his severely aching forehead. He was entirely sure he just drank one bottle. It seems that he greatly underestimated how strong it was.

He wondered what was happening. He could handle himself fine before but now he was losing it. _I will never touch another drink again! Alcohol in social events be damned!_ _All the liquor in the house goes to the trash or out the window for all I care (except if it's damn expensive)._

He tried standing up (failing several times) to get to the bathroom before his dinner last night made an unsightly appearance on the floor or on the bed.

It was hard to walk and look straight. He reached the bathroom in time and hurled everything from his stomach into the poor porcelain throne while swearing loudly.

He was covered with sweat when he was done. He sat near the sacred throne just in case there was a second wave.

Chiaki wiped his mouth_. That was disgusting. So how did I get inside? I couldn't have assaulted Nodame in her sleep and…d-did the unthinkable, could I? _

He slapped himself on the forehead. _Wrong move! Aargh! My head still hurts!_

_No…no no no. Of course not. Right? I did not go to my wife's__…no…__ our bed last night! If I did(in my intoxicated state), she would have killed me or something…right? Right?_

"Shinichi! There you are! I was looking for you because you weren't in bed. Ah…I forgot! Good morning!" Nodame was at the door of the bathroom, smiling as she talked and approached him. "Eh? Was too loud? I'm sorry." Chiaki stared dumbfounded for a few seconds. He couldn't comprehend a word that she said and his eardrums may be broken by now but in his head he was looking straight at an angel. No…he was staring at a goddess. He realized a little too late that she was extending her hand to help him up. He must've been smiling like an idiot the whole time. A smiling idiot with a hangover.

He finally reached out to her hand and tried to stand. Nodame steadied him before he fell. Chiaki recalled how Nodame mostly still calls him Senpai even after being married so he still isn't used to her saying his first name. The times she did call him Shinichi were rare. Special.

She also helped him clean himself and out of the bathroom. He wondered if it was because of the amnesia that Nodame became so…responsible. The word "clean" wasn't even in the woman's vocabulary. It was his. Now he seemed rather pathetic. He checked his ear and he wasn't going deaf. Nothing's broken. So it was sensitivity to noise?

Chiaki mumbled a word that sounded like sorry but she just waved her hand and smiled. He couldn't dismiss the fact that her cheeks were slightly red the whole time he was close to her. He still wasn't used to this Nodame but he found it rather cute. He watched as Nodame looked for new clothes in the drawer and placed it on top of the bed. "Here. Change now if you don't want to catch a cold. Umm…do you need help changing?"

Chiaki looked at the green shirt then shook his head, weakly . He didn't want to burden her any further. In a small part in his mind, he was curious if she'll get a nosebleed at seeing him…topless. "Alright I'll be right back."

Chiaki pondered over the irony of the situation he was in now while he slowly tried to put new clothing. The situation was now in reverse. He took care of Nodame before but now she was the one taking care of him.

_I'm the one supposed to be taking care of her dammit!_

He successfully completed the mission after three tries. The shirt was stuck on his arms the first try. The second was the shirt was in reverse."Here. Water for your throat. Careful. " Chiaki emptied the glass in one go. "That was fast. Want another one? No? Okay when you can, drink this. This could help…I think. To make your stomach warm since you now have an empty stomach. Careful it's hot. I was supposed to make soup but you know. But, I could prepare this much faster."

Chiaki held the mug with both hands. _I need an aspirin..no make that two.. than coffee right now Nodame but... _"Th-thanks."

_Wait...this...it's ...it's delicious!_

"Glad you like it."

…_Looks like your toxic ways in the kitchen were wiped out with your memory huh?_

He couldn't say the same exactly regarding her cooking though. He cooked for her when they got back from the hospital so he didn't know how her cooking would now taste like.

Let's just say that he wouldn't bet his life on it.

Chiaki shuddered at the thought of his wife being in the kitchen. He would often catch her before making him food. Like in the past, it was burnt (always drawing hearts using ketchup or mayonnaise on everything) and poisonous looking (sometimes he saw something moving). He felt sorry for all the food wasted but felt horrible after seeing all those tears from her "hard work gone to waste".

He encouraged her to make rice balls instead (since she never made a mistake doing those. But it's easy…everyone can do it!). He went so far as to tell her that he absolutely LOVED her rice balls. The idiot always called it her masterpiece…thanked him then smiled (that made him look away in embarrassment in case his cheeks were…you know) and hugged him to death(with a loud gyabo!).

The next day there were rice balls in different kinds, shapes and sizes on the table. He must admit they were very delicious.

Well her last mishap before the accident was his coffee. It had way too much salt. Iodized salt.

Running out of sugar was horrific back then. She mistook iodized salt for sugar. After that Chiaki hid every type of salt, condiment and spice he could find for his own good and brought them out only when he was cooking.

"Oh good you're smiling! That means you're feeling better,right?"

Nod. He quickly wiped a tear before it fell. It was gone before she could see it. She might get worried if she did. He wasn't sad. They were happy memories.

"Okay! Now go back to sleep so that you feel better when you wake up! But..I just gave you coffee didn't I?" Nodame then snatched the coffee away from poor Chiaki. ("Oi!") "Sorry about that. You can't sleep if you finish this all! I'll finish this for you okay? Do you need something else? Oh wait medicine! "

"W-wait…" Chiaki grabbed Nodame's hand before she could run off to find medicine. _You're not going anywhere. And with my coffee to boot__._

Nodame nodded and sat beside Chiaki. Still not giving him his coffee, he watched her happily drink it deciding not to take it anymore. She offered him food but he didn't feel like eating. Yet. He might throw up again. Sure he would eat maybe later.

Turns out the ruckus he heard earlier was Nodame in the kitchen but she wasn't noisy at all. It was just his oversensitive self this morning. She was really quiet and she said she was…singing. Come to think of it maybe he couldn't just focus because of the headache. No it was not her silly Puri Gorota songs from before (he would not think of it silly and childish if he heard it right now though) but a normal one. He silently wished he could hear her again.

Then she went out for a while (the loud bang was just the door) and bought medicine. Finally feeling much better, Chiaki said slowly "I don't need to sleep. I just need the medicine and I'll be fine."

"No. Please sleep. If you're worried about me, don't be. I made coffee didn't I? I can make toast. I'll make you some! Oh wait you don't want to eat yet right? Hmmm…wait here. I'll get some medicine."

_Oi! ..Toast? You're serious Nodame? That's not a proper meal! I'm gonna show you I'm fine._ Chiaki stood up. "No. I'm fine now so…I'm gonna cook for you—" Then Chiaki almost fell. _Aargh stupid recurring headache!_

"See? Don't push yourself. Now do as I say and sleep. I'll be fine. You can cook heavenly food for me later okay?" Chiaki was about to protest but he totally forgot it as the compliment about his cooking made his face hot. His ego inflated but he was flattered nonetheless."Here take your medicine. When you wake up, we'll have lots to talk about later. I'll find something to do…maybe read, watch TV or eat while you sleep. I found a cookbook in the kitchen. I'll try to do those…maybe."

Chiaki looked at her like she was insane.

"What is with that look? Hey! " _S-stop glaring honey. Just…don't burn the house down__._

"Nothing. Uh…Good night."

Chiaki slept for 3 hours.

"Oh you're awake. Headache gone now?"

"I feel great. Thanks." "Hey...we should talk about what happened this morning. How-how did I get in the room? I don't remember going in there…"

_Don't tell me my crazy thought was true…that I was too drunk__…__ that I kicked the door open and barged in..then..then…something happened…_

"Oh…that. You see I.." . _I swear I'm innocent! Nothing that happen was my own- _"saw you outside of the room when I woke up. You were talking in your sleep." _Oh. So that's what it was. Phew. I didn't barge in unannounced but…_"You really reeked of alcohol. I found the empty wine bottle by the way. You drank it all by yourself?"

Chiaki nodded like a little boy and his head was low, eyes covered by his bangs. He made a mental vow not to go near alcohol for as long as he lived. "S-sorry about that. It won't happen again." Nodame was able to see his eyes again when he looked up. Curiosity was written all over his face. "I was talking in my sleep? I...didn't say anything stupid, did I?"

"Hmmm…" She smiled but Chiaki could've sworn she was trying hard not to giggle for a second. "No. But you looked like you were having a…bad dream." _Okay so what did I say? _"Stop staring so intense like that. You wanna know what happened right? Okay. You know I was really worried so I tried waking you up then..."

"Then what?"

"Nevermind."

"Oi…"

Nodame was smiling. She looked like she was reminiscing about something. Chiaki was alert. Memories? Did they come back?

"Did…did something happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"You were smiling like that so I thought…uh…nevermind. So did you remember something? Anything?"

"About my past you mean?" Nodame bit her lower lip. "No. Sorry."

"Oh…"Nodame caught Chiaki's disappointment in his voice. "Hey Nodame! Don't cry! Don't cry…" _Please don't._ _Because if you cry__,_ y_ou'll also make me cry__._ "It's okay. You'll remember eventually. Definitely! I promise. "

Nodame rubbed her eyes. "Who's crying? I'm not crying! See?"

"Yup. Now smile! Smile…Smile for me? Please?"

"…Okay."

_I should make her smile more often. Hmm..is my cheeks red?_ "There you go. Where were we…ah! What was I saying in my sleep?"

"About…umm…you…you were…uh…"

"Oi..." _Don't leave me hanging here…_

"Nevermind. It's a secret." Nodame then winked.

"Oi you…"

"Ah! By the way if you're wondering how you got into that shirt you woke up in, well….the shirt you were wearing was drenched in sweat so I had to take it off or you'll get sick."_ Oh the blue shirt I was wearing before I threw up on the porcelain throne. Hmm..I had a white shirt on before you undressed me Nodame._

_No nosebleeds? I should work out…go to the gym…er..something._

"As…your…" Chiaki watched her with a smile as she stumbled on the words, blushing adorably as she did so. "As your…wife, I'm obligated to do these things. You know.. take care of you and stuff.. aren't I?"

Chiaki replied with a quiet "yeah" without taking his eyes off her.

His wife was blushing like a teenager. Cute. He missed the extremely loud and cheerful Nodame but he'll never get tired of this. "Anyway, I…I found that blue shirt in the closet. It was too big to fit me so I figured it was uh..obviously yours?"

_I rest my hand on top of her head. Of course it is dummy. But you wore all my shirts anyway. Then sniffed on them like a hentai just like before when we were students__. But..you don't remember that, do you?  
><em>

"So...just how did you manage to-" Chiaki asked while ruffling her hair.

"Stop...that. I just fixed my hair a while ago. Hmm..How did I drag you on the bed? It wasn't easy mind you." _Don't tell me I weigh like 400 pounds.__.__. _"But I just couldn't bear leaving you on the floor like that. Besides, the bed's way more comfortable, right?"

_So…so nothing happened. Nothing happened last night. Because I still have these pants on. What am I thinking! Of course nothing happened!_

"...Thank you. And I'm sorry for the trouble."

"What do you mean trouble? As I said I'm your wife aren't I?"

"Of course how can I forget."

"Hungry?"

"Very. Surprise me Mr. Chef...I mean uh..honey."

"Sure."

Nodame would tell Chiaki someday all about that night. She would tell him that she didn't know how long she stared at that handsome face while he slept. Memories forgotten but, she believes the heart never forgets. When he suddenly cried, she hugged him while he did and cried along with him. He was having a sad dream and she's pretty sure it's about her. She also didn't mind helping him to bed so he can sleep peacefully. She stayed with him as he slept in their bed and held his hand.

Even if he didn't remember...being drunk and only half-awake that night, someday she would tell him that she didn't mind the alcohol taste in his mouth when he kissed her.

_**Don't cry because I won't go anywhere...I won't leave you Shinichi.**_

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A/N: A very cheesy chapter. Chapter 3's on the way. Oh well gotta sleep.4 am and I have work later. Bye!


	3. The little things

A/N: Finally I'm updating this. It bugged me to hell that I left this hanging up to this day. I'm really sorry guys for the very very long delay... I was really really busy (and really really distracted sorry.. it's all in my profile). I really really beg for everyone's forgiveness. Anyway, I wrote this chapter from somewhere else and from scratch too. Can't organize my old drafts because my laptop is so crappy right now. I'll get back to it as soon as I fix the problem with my laptop. So I had to reread the story from where I am (not at home) and wrote this chapter and published it in one go (I'll edit it later). This oddly doesn't have dialogue in it. Oh yeah they're not old here in this fic... they're not in their 40s or 50s yet. I think I forgot to mention that before. Anyway enjoy.

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**The little things**

Every morning they would wake up beside each other with their hands joined together. They would stare at each other lovingly and one will whisper good morning followed by the other. Their bliss would continue before being interrupted by the need for breakfast. Her stomach would rumble then immediately would be followed by his laughter.

On some days, their foreheads would be pressed together while they held hands as they slept. The other days...those that she treasured the most above all the rest would be when she was in his arms. Whether he did so unconsciously or not, she wouldn't mind in a thousand years. Her own arms would entangle over his and she would see him smile. Again wondering if he was unconscious or not while he did. Maybe he was awake. Maybe he wasn't. He was adorable smiling either way, subconsciously or not.

This morning was one of those moments she cherished. Nodame still couldn't believe that she was married to the handsome... no drop dead gorgeous guy before her. She wondered why he chose her.. she looked so.. plain. If only she'd remember. If only she could go back in time and see everything. Back to where they met and how they fell in love. She would give anything to go back in time and prevent the accident. He now avoids riding in cars if he could avoid it. If not, he is extremely depressed about it.

She wished she remembered everything. Then Shinichi would be so happy. Sometimes she would catch him stare into space for a brief moment then he'd snap out of it and realize she was there. If only could she remember the little things first. Like the colorful sofa they were sitting on right now while they watched TV. Nodame was trying hard not to be too distracted by Shinichi's head resting on her shoulder while she searched her head for memories that didn't come. The program was boring anyway and surely the reason why Shinichi was sound asleep at the moment. Nodame turned off the TV using the remote and rested her head on his.

She couldn't fathom how he managed to stay in this god awful sofa that long that night they came home from the hospital. She wondered why she also found it of all things...cute. It was so confusing being revolted yet bizarrely attached to it at the same time. It was horribly mismatched from the rest of the furniture. Everything was elegant except the sofa. It was white, colorful and childish. It was the only thing white in the whole house. Yet it was odd that she wouldn't dream of tossing or asking Shinichi to toss it out the window. It screamed RARE to her. A collector's item.

She decided to ask Shinichi about it. He said it was Puri Gorota. An anime. That was what he responded when he was a given a blank look/stare of confusion ("Puri what?"). He told her she was the one who insisted that he buy it online and the next day it was shipped to France from Japan. He skipped telling her the part where she begged no... almost beat him up for it when he refused. Again skipping the part where he blushed furiously (yes furiously..like a teenager) when she hugged and kissed him in happiness when it arrived. Also the part that he forgot his anger right after that (the stupid thing was expensive...rather he felt more that it was overpriced and that he was fooled).

To Nodame that explains the abundance of childish items in the house. The DVDs (which she had an eyebrow raised the whole time when he popped that DVD into the player), the action figures, the shower curtain,the mugs, the stuffed toys, pillowcases and the pencil topper. He told her that Puri Gorota was her obsession. He fondly remembers that at first he thought it was ridiculous but the show can really teach you something. Then he goes silent and thoughtful. He said he'll elaborate that lesson some other time and goes to the kitchen. He told her that he thinks the show and her obsession was adorable.

An anime obsession for a married woman? Really? Seriously? That's preposterous. They should be focusing on career, married life and uh...babies. The word slowly swirled in circles in her head making her dizzy..babies. Babies. Babies. Babies. She could feel her cheeks grow hot thinking about it. Smoking hot drop dead gorgeous smexy...ahem. Little Shinichis and Megumis running around...drool. Stop.

A-anyway, so she gave him that pencil topper? She wondered the first time she saw it why was it on top of the stick..no according to Shinichi it was called a baton. Cute. She wondered if he used the baton before in his performances. Before he took a break from the orchestra. He said that he didn't want anything to do with music anymore then hastily adding at least for now when he saw Nodame. She still wants those piano lessons. They wouldn't let him resign so they gave him a vacation instead. They said the time off would clear his mind. That everything would come back in time.

In time huh?

Sometimes when Shinichi takes a shower before going to bed, Nodame would often wander around the house. She would look at old pictures, smile at the wedding picture hanged on the wall, go to the music room filled with neglected musical instruments, look at the lyric sheets filled with notes that she doesn't now understand, lift the cover of the piano and press some keys. She stays there for a long period of time. She would swing a certain pocketwatch in front of her face and will her memories back. Not that was successful though. Maybe she did it wrong. Maybe it wasn't meant to be.

She almost cries but doesn't in fear that she might be seen.

Shinichi never goes to the music room. That room is filled with memories of the past. It reminds him of things that might never return. So Nodame would not expect him to find the videotapes (yeah old school..no time to convert to DVD I guess) she hid there that Mine sent from Japan. Videos of the old Nodame and Chiaki way back before they got married that she watched when he was outside grocery shopping. One was labeled _Nodame loves Senpai! Mukya! _courtesy of you know who before the reset. No way that she'd expect him to find her asleep on the piano stool when she didn't come back to the bedroom. No way that she'd expect him to have tears in his eyes while he wiped hers.

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A/N: The pocketwatch was not moved to the music room and is always in the bedroom. Btw at the end, he carries her bridal style back to the bedroom.


End file.
